As some things pass and fade others come into my vision.
Yesterday entailed...
Hiding in a trunk and surprising Justin at the airport with the whole gang :) There is something very family like about us. We are all so very different, yet it is very clear that we enjoy being together, and there is that unspoken comfort. I like it a lot.
Time at Seven Sagas (with a good decision, even if super last minute, to include Vince) included holding hands for comfort, being proud of my decision, getting pink cheeks, hearing a high pitched hum so close to me, and being glad I was doing what I wanted to do and making my own decisions. I have a cleu :)
Exploring permanency is an ongoing adventure~
After about 45 minutes of reading Elixir out loud to Gabe on the back porch of The Pines, with pauses to discuss, get blankets, and eat rice, I took a moment to acknowledge life; sitting on an outside porch, in good company, at a fantastic college, on a beautiful night, reading out loud a book I am enjoying and learning from, for an incredible class - life is not too bad. When life feels good and when it doesn't I am going to start making time for check ins.
At 10:30 Sunday night I hadn't even looked at the assignment for Monday 8:30 AM yet. The assignment was 40 pages of reading and a short written piece. What could have been an all-nighter filled with stress (as if would have been this time last year) ended up as an hour and a half of focused reading (with short interruptions due to distractions and or to talk with Vince and or Marek) and writing about raccoons - I was complete and proud of the work I had done. Bam!
I walked to shore via wet grass in the botanical garden with a blanket strewn over my shoulders and was asleep by 1. I have been good at sleeping lately. I haven't been staying up much past midnight that many times in the past week or so (last year going to bed before 2-2:30 was rare).
Part of why I was ok with the decision to pay $5 for a little little bottle of Dr. Bronners (unscented!) from Seven Sagas was an idea I had churning in my head. I often have a bag and or pocket on my which means I can carry that little soap bottle around with me and a) know what soap I am putting on my body and b) use a soap that does not put chemicals into water. I think I am going to do that. Even though that means having a bottle of store bought soap on me everywhere I go it feels so very simple.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Parents At Embercombe
I just found out that Mum and Dad visited Embercombe earlier today. I do not want to use tons of exclamation marks but this is made me very happy. I literally gasped out loud with joy when I read the first sentence in Mum's email to me. I loved observing my different reactions of reading about Mum and Dad meeting various Embercombe people. Jana was the first one :D She was in the kitchen. (Not in a super sad way, but - I miss her so much now.) I liked picturing Mum and Dad walking around Embercombe with Jana - down to the lake, in her yurt, around the dinning yurt, through the garden!!
I forget at what point in reading Mum's email I started crying, but that I did. Happy tears for sure.
I giggled when I heard that they met Eamon (who is doing the Journey - good for him!), awed when Mum mentioned Ruth, and tensed up as my body said "oh good" when I read that they had tea with Fiona and Asha.
They bought something at the corner market - of course they did! And by "came in the way you first did" I think they mean the 2 mile walk. Good for them. They walked in my footsteps ~
I was so nice to hear they made it to Embercombe, something, even though I suggested it I did not actually think would happen because of logistics. Reading about them being there and picturing that, made me realize that I may want to go back someday - which I was not sure about before.
Simon. They met Simon. All of these paths that crossed - my worlds blended today while I was on Guilford campus. Hehe.
By the end of the email I wanted to cry and feel my body pulsing under the rhythm of tears but the tears stopped shortly. The email where Mum describes her and Dad's visit to Embercombe is SO special to me. A good reminder of a lot of things. Glad some aspects of my life mixed , good timing.
I forget at what point in reading Mum's email I started crying, but that I did. Happy tears for sure.
I giggled when I heard that they met Eamon (who is doing the Journey - good for him!), awed when Mum mentioned Ruth, and tensed up as my body said "oh good" when I read that they had tea with Fiona and Asha.
They bought something at the corner market - of course they did! And by "came in the way you first did" I think they mean the 2 mile walk. Good for them. They walked in my footsteps ~
I was so nice to hear they made it to Embercombe, something, even though I suggested it I did not actually think would happen because of logistics. Reading about them being there and picturing that, made me realize that I may want to go back someday - which I was not sure about before.
Simon. They met Simon. All of these paths that crossed - my worlds blended today while I was on Guilford campus. Hehe.
By the end of the email I wanted to cry and feel my body pulsing under the rhythm of tears but the tears stopped shortly. The email where Mum describes her and Dad's visit to Embercombe is SO special to me. A good reminder of a lot of things. Glad some aspects of my life mixed , good timing.
Tried to catch the evidence of happy tears but it didn't come out so well.
So I decided to try and visually express what may have prompted the happy tears.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
:) --> :/
After ate wave of life is incredible (I have time and resources to prep quality time for myself, I feel independent, I feel strong, I feel loved, etc.) the wave of the protest hit me. For the past few days I felt like I was practicing great control, and like it was a healthy and manageable decision to remove myself from those far away because of how it was hurting my heart. That was going just fine until I caught myself reading articles about it a women being sentenced to 93 days in prison for a home garden, rain water collecting being illegal, and other disturbing governmental controlling and people not knowing enough to rebel, issues. That happened. I cried a little bit, I wrote a passionate blog post for Maia's seminar, and decided I should move on so as to not get too caught up in something too heavy (during a time when I am consciously distancing myself from things, conversations, readings, that will weigh down my heart) - I checked my email. I received confirmation once again that I can get academic credit for doing something I want to do for personal reasons. This is good, great actually, but resulted in me looking at photos from the protest, youtube clips of arrests, and getting antsy about wanting a direct update and or to hear from people there, etc.
So now, I am half riled up as I was for the past 3 weeks about wanting to know what is happening in Balcombe, wanting to be with people there - the community and individuals, and upset at the government for treating the situation as they are, as well as sad that SO many people are oblivious of the whole situation (both in Balcombe and fracking in general.) It is 9:30 on Sunday night and I am either going to (watch a movie and have a sleep over with friends - would love to not sleep alone tonight) and or work passionately on my SCLA RoN paper /outline/idea/project.
Life just keeps moving forward.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Let Go
It includes: people I am not with and or won't be for the next week or more, experiences I have had, places I have set foot, things I have seen, connections I have developed, memories I recall...
A pretty huge thing happened. I decided to let go of my past and use it as a teacher but not a weight. Where I am is where I am and I want to make the most of that.
Pretty big change in my reality and the weight of my heart (...hoping it is not just because it is the weekend and my head has more free space rather than the week when time and thoughts feel like they need to be structured).
A pretty huge thing happened. I decided to let go of my past and use it as a teacher but not a weight. Where I am is where I am and I want to make the most of that.
Pretty big change in my reality and the weight of my heart (...hoping it is not just because it is the weekend and my head has more free space rather than the week when time and thoughts feel like they need to be structured).
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Trigger Sensitive
Lots of triggers came up today...
-today is Jame's court hearing. Haven't seen any signs of him in about 2 weeks now :( Hard <3
-I slept for about 4 hours last night... in the Shore lounge.
-My day started with submitting 2 assignments I regretted not putting more of myself into
-I realized that I trigger quicker and am more likely to be sad and or negatively effected by the world on little sleep. (= today)
-Swam in a pool of logistics about Food Justice, Farmers Market, and Real Food Challenge. I am tired of doggy paddling and feel like it is time to swim forward with love
-the AC got turned back on in our room which doesn't excite me.
-I am living out of a backpack for the next 2 days because of a visitor but more so because I am craving a reason to need to do that.
-I am really hoping I will get to see Paula sometime soon, very soon. Before spring break
-Not sure what I want. And not sure how to get there... (...exactly).
-Craving the comfort of the red notification and the words of one far away
-Not sure what I need but an pretty sure I need something
-Fingers crossed Vince will tap into my mood and wither cuddle into me and or poke around my head
I think I am going to call it a night for assignments now (before 10:30), walk to the Pines, and curl up on Vince's bed.
I made pesto :) Yet still didn't find time to make my second batch of kraut
-today is Jame's court hearing. Haven't seen any signs of him in about 2 weeks now :( Hard <3
-I slept for about 4 hours last night... in the Shore lounge.
-My day started with submitting 2 assignments I regretted not putting more of myself into
-I realized that I trigger quicker and am more likely to be sad and or negatively effected by the world on little sleep. (= today)
-Swam in a pool of logistics about Food Justice, Farmers Market, and Real Food Challenge. I am tired of doggy paddling and feel like it is time to swim forward with love
-the AC got turned back on in our room which doesn't excite me.
-I am living out of a backpack for the next 2 days because of a visitor but more so because I am craving a reason to need to do that.
-I am really hoping I will get to see Paula sometime soon, very soon. Before spring break
-Not sure what I want. And not sure how to get there... (...exactly).
-Craving the comfort of the red notification and the words of one far away
-Not sure what I need but an pretty sure I need something
-Fingers crossed Vince will tap into my mood and wither cuddle into me and or poke around my head
I think I am going to call it a night for assignments now (before 10:30), walk to the Pines, and curl up on Vince's bed.
I made pesto :) Yet still didn't find time to make my second batch of kraut
Monday, September 16, 2013
Mixing Flavors of Places/Memories/Moments
Things that have happened in the past few hours
-gchatted with Mum in England
-skyped with Lily Sinclair and talked about the protest
-returned mentally from the canoe trip this weekend
-sent and read an email from Renee at Embercombe about her bump/baby
-finally picked up packaged from mail and print service. Talked to nice little guy about Seven Sagas
-HP with Jim Hood and Marek
-Saw Julia for the first time since she left with Maia on the way to urgent care
-I see the poison ivy on my foot: not sure what it is from
-have seen Justin and Lucas today, heard about there weekend and heard I was missed
-texted with Kelsey
-Almost texted Jacob last night - glad I didn't... I don't need another element present right now
-dove back into the pool of Slow Food/Food Justice logistics
-have a list of things to do but feel very not connected to it
-I have Guilfordian class in 30 minutes. Meh~
-I think I need a nap and or food. Energy in food/recharge and or love is needed.
Lots of different aspects of my life have been brought up today.
The cleu is happening. :) I am proud of my approach to research.
My current profile picture which feels relevant, appropriate, and accurate. Finally...
-gchatted with Mum in England
-skyped with Lily Sinclair and talked about the protest
-returned mentally from the canoe trip this weekend
-sent and read an email from Renee at Embercombe about her bump/baby
-finally picked up packaged from mail and print service. Talked to nice little guy about Seven Sagas
-HP with Jim Hood and Marek
-Saw Julia for the first time since she left with Maia on the way to urgent care
-I see the poison ivy on my foot: not sure what it is from
-have seen Justin and Lucas today, heard about there weekend and heard I was missed
-texted with Kelsey
-Almost texted Jacob last night - glad I didn't... I don't need another element present right now
-dove back into the pool of Slow Food/Food Justice logistics
-have a list of things to do but feel very not connected to it
-I have Guilfordian class in 30 minutes. Meh~
-I think I need a nap and or food. Energy in food/recharge and or love is needed.
Lots of different aspects of my life have been brought up today.
The cleu is happening. :) I am proud of my approach to research.
My current profile picture which feels relevant, appropriate, and accurate. Finally...
Thursday, September 12, 2013
A Goodness Bubble
Talk about goodness (in a nut shell because I don't want to be on my computer for too much long.)
CF seminar had the first class outing (which will happen about every other week.) It included 2 miles of walking and getting to swim in a river! (I am asking permission to do a life challenge as an experiential class assignment around swimming/bathing in lakes, rivers, and streams in the Cape Fear River Basin for the next month!) That outing was so good and I felt very alive when returning and adjusting to being on a college campus with computer work to do.
Thunder filled my ears as I walked to Shore. After making a phone call to Paula (an artist Chris Blain recommended :D?!) I saw droplets on the screen of my window and white lines falling down. By the time I gathered notebooks, schedule book, laptop, water bottle, snack, etc. and opened the door to the outside it was only a light drizzle.
I have been sitting in my study spot outside (and mostly waterproof) of Frank for the past few hours. I knew I needed to do email stuff as well as some moodle reading. Just as I thought to look at my phone to see if Justin had texted back about doing assignments with me in the lovely outdoors I looked up and saw Justin on his bike with a guitar! :) Yay for good company and an extra special amazing wave of goodness with the guitar. So, I have been sitting with my butt on brick and my back against it for about 3 hours, listening to guitar, talking with Justin, figuring out camping logistics over email, finally catching up on emails, and feeling fulfilled with my life at the moment.
Today has consisted of: good people, good food, good water, good choices, good adventures, good conversations, and a healthy feeling of independence.
CF seminar had the first class outing (which will happen about every other week.) It included 2 miles of walking and getting to swim in a river! (I am asking permission to do a life challenge as an experiential class assignment around swimming/bathing in lakes, rivers, and streams in the Cape Fear River Basin for the next month!) That outing was so good and I felt very alive when returning and adjusting to being on a college campus with computer work to do.
Thunder filled my ears as I walked to Shore. After making a phone call to Paula (an artist Chris Blain recommended :D?!) I saw droplets on the screen of my window and white lines falling down. By the time I gathered notebooks, schedule book, laptop, water bottle, snack, etc. and opened the door to the outside it was only a light drizzle.
I have been sitting in my study spot outside (and mostly waterproof) of Frank for the past few hours. I knew I needed to do email stuff as well as some moodle reading. Just as I thought to look at my phone to see if Justin had texted back about doing assignments with me in the lovely outdoors I looked up and saw Justin on his bike with a guitar! :) Yay for good company and an extra special amazing wave of goodness with the guitar. So, I have been sitting with my butt on brick and my back against it for about 3 hours, listening to guitar, talking with Justin, figuring out camping logistics over email, finally catching up on emails, and feeling fulfilled with my life at the moment.
Today has consisted of: good people, good food, good water, good choices, good adventures, good conversations, and a healthy feeling of independence.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Productivity and Good Feelings
I feel healthy, content, comfortable, excited, happy, productive, and proud of multi tasking.
Things that have occurred in the last few hours...
-I completed my reading for tomorrow which I thought would take a lot longer (still need to do the moodle task, but because of how I set up my notes that will be easy peesie.)
I tried to get access to a bike (via texting 5 friends who have them) for ride tomorrow to ask someone a question
Kiernan and I connected and we are going to combine and do laundry together rather than doing 2 half loads - yay for water conservation and connections!
I did a quick, productive, and not too heart wrenching research/update on Balcombe protest - things seem ok. (Tigger got banished though after locking himself to a caravan in the middle of the rd.)
I talked with Jim (Marlow, over fb) which was nice. He is in Cali and doing good sounding things. Introduced me to a place in Santa Cruz that is a lot like Embercombe... :)
I feel like I have connected with people while being physically alone, independent, and strong.
Back to writing for Jim and reading for Maia.
Life is good - I appreciate these mellow, content, productive moments/days. :)
Things that have occurred in the last few hours...
-I completed my reading for tomorrow which I thought would take a lot longer (still need to do the moodle task, but because of how I set up my notes that will be easy peesie.)
I tried to get access to a bike (via texting 5 friends who have them) for ride tomorrow to ask someone a question
Kiernan and I connected and we are going to combine and do laundry together rather than doing 2 half loads - yay for water conservation and connections!
I did a quick, productive, and not too heart wrenching research/update on Balcombe protest - things seem ok. (Tigger got banished though after locking himself to a caravan in the middle of the rd.)
I talked with Jim (Marlow, over fb) which was nice. He is in Cali and doing good sounding things. Introduced me to a place in Santa Cruz that is a lot like Embercombe... :)
I feel like I have connected with people while being physically alone, independent, and strong.
Back to writing for Jim and reading for Maia.
Life is good - I appreciate these mellow, content, productive moments/days. :)
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Hills By (Bare)Foot
Today was hilly. I had a slow walk up the hill, realized how tired I was when I hit the top, ran down with my hair flowing freely/bare feet touching the ground/wind and sun touching my skin, then the sensation of my heart dropping as I look up and hurt my neck with the jolt by looking at the steepness (not relating to class assignments) and seeing a patch of dense mist over a mountain my friends are on having no idea what is going on, only guesses and patience.
A walk to Target via the creek and finding adventures along the way
with Jon Macemore
Through my camera's lens
having trouble focusing on the beautiful spider
drainage pipes leading directly into the creek...
~so peaceful~
slowly immerging
all the way
reflections, technology, bridges... :)
Grapes: though they were only way up high - apparently they weren't meant for humans to gather (without a ladder and or super good tree climber). The birds are lucky!
Select photos from Jon's lens
We had an amazing walk. Sporatically and loosely planned this morning. Met - decided we wanted food and coffee before starting the journey so that we did. Walked. Observed. Shared. ...poison ivy. It was such a good time.
We both winced and made ewy faces when we popped out from the woods and saw pavement and houses. Next we popped out into a shopping center. Who knew culture shock was a thing from just about 2 miles away...
We spent some money (on food from fresh market) and saved some money courtesy of many dumpsters. I bought potatoes in a shop then found a trash can (to be composted which is soso much better than actually being throw out) with lots of potatoes in it. I collected what I thought could get used and I now have half a fridge of chopped up veggies without spending a dime. (Cucumber, peach, watermelon, peppers, and organic broccoli).
I am not panicking which is great but I do have class assignments due tomorrow morning (7AM blog for Maia and reading and moodle task for Jim by 8:20). My eyes are drooping and I ma ready to curl up and sleep but will dig for the energy to keep at it for a bit longer. Vince is on his way.
I have 4 circles on my right wrist (redraw about an hour ago), a iece of black duct tape on my right ring finger, and hair that not only tucks behind my ears but also now fits into a hair tye.
Today started out tired, the middle was beautiful and adventure filled, and the near end got serious and hard fast - back to class assignments till my eyes close.
Dreams in the Meadows
Photos from a beautiful night with friends
He was SO hyper. Energy drink at 6 PM to get through Physics.
Justin, Lucas, myself, Rachel, and a bit of Eli
What we all woke up to :D
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Crazy
When I was attempting to look up this song
I found this song
and have been listening to one
and then the other
for about 30 minutes now.
Crazy related songs feel relevant.
"We are never going to survive unless we go a little crazy"
"In a world full of people only some want to fly - is that not crazy"
(Ronan, Jim, Embercombe, James, new group of 5 here, Justin being uber hyper last night, me leading the life I am, me being who I am, life being what it is...)
Sunday and Past Images
I took this to represent the first year class (Binford being a first year dorm) but was also having camera troubles at the time so this one didn't make it into the file of photos to consider... I like it though.
Besides memory and current connection this is the only proof that James and my paths ever crossed.
A picture of a video clip...
Justin, Lucas, me, Rachel, and Simon
Finally sleeping in the meadows together!
What I woke up to this morning amongst new friends~
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Universal Connections and Goodness
Something clicked this morning:
While is is not easy having my heart divided in different places/environments/communities it also feels healthy. I know it is only the beginning of week 2 but the walls of the Guilford bubble are not that evident. I am trying to be aware of a few worlds. A strong point of mine has never been keeping up to date on 'world news' (as in anything happening not within a 15 mile radius of where my body is at the time) until now. I am keeping up to date on the protest for the reasons of being aware of loved ones there while also wanting to be involved in the stance of not fracking. I feel more divided geographically than I have before (possibly with acception of when Kels and I were in Roatan, Mum was in England -without internet access, and Dad was at Patrick Ave during a tornado. It feels healthy; challenging, strengthening, and beautiful.
I have been having a dream nearly every night at Guilford. (If it is hard to see my dream during the day at least I am having night time dreams). The universe made me go wide eyes this morning. A few times in my life I have had a dream where someone who I haven't seen or heard from in years appears and then the next day (in not night time dream life) they call or I receive an email from them. Crazy! That happened except not with a dream. Yesterday the weight of not knowing if James (a compassionate, active, dedicated lad at the protest I connected with) was arrested or being mistreated was extremely alive. This morning I read on a comment of a new picture that he was arrested yesterday. ~world~ He is out now but the fact that that was so alive to me yesterday and that he was arrested yesterday reminds me how connected things are in this world. ...He gave a copper the bird which brings up a whole lot of things to think about...
I went to my 8:30 then spent from 10-11:45 in the kitchen doing dishes, making split pea soup, and sending emails. I feel alive, responsible, reasonable, connected, happy, and lucky.
The big opening kick off market starts soon! I must go now to help set up actually. First I want to write down what I said during vespers last night.
:
While is is not easy having my heart divided in different places/environments/communities it also feels healthy. I know it is only the beginning of week 2 but the walls of the Guilford bubble are not that evident. I am trying to be aware of a few worlds. A strong point of mine has never been keeping up to date on 'world news' (as in anything happening not within a 15 mile radius of where my body is at the time) until now. I am keeping up to date on the protest for the reasons of being aware of loved ones there while also wanting to be involved in the stance of not fracking. I feel more divided geographically than I have before (possibly with acception of when Kels and I were in Roatan, Mum was in England -without internet access, and Dad was at Patrick Ave during a tornado. It feels healthy; challenging, strengthening, and beautiful.
I have been having a dream nearly every night at Guilford. (If it is hard to see my dream during the day at least I am having night time dreams). The universe made me go wide eyes this morning. A few times in my life I have had a dream where someone who I haven't seen or heard from in years appears and then the next day (in not night time dream life) they call or I receive an email from them. Crazy! That happened except not with a dream. Yesterday the weight of not knowing if James (a compassionate, active, dedicated lad at the protest I connected with) was arrested or being mistreated was extremely alive. This morning I read on a comment of a new picture that he was arrested yesterday. ~world~ He is out now but the fact that that was so alive to me yesterday and that he was arrested yesterday reminds me how connected things are in this world. ...He gave a copper the bird which brings up a whole lot of things to think about...
I went to my 8:30 then spent from 10-11:45 in the kitchen doing dishes, making split pea soup, and sending emails. I feel alive, responsible, reasonable, connected, happy, and lucky.
The big opening kick off market starts soon! I must go now to help set up actually. First I want to write down what I said during vespers last night.
:
I am shaped by my experiences
I am growing stronger every time I pick myself up from a fall
I am beautiful
Last night Addy led vespers and brought up the power of words.
Life is pretty alright and feels healthy at the moment.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Images Speak Louder Than Words
These are all connected in many ways. All alive in my life currently is what I want to share here.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Sunday - Bloody Good Sunday
Today was such a great day.
Even though it is Sunday (the day before Monday) I did not plan and did what came up and what I wanted to do - it worked out beautifully. (Almost too good to be true or like I am missing something super big, but until I find out what life is good/amazing/fulfilling/and full of joy.)
I stayed in my room doing laptop stuff for the first few hours I was awake.
The first thing I did when I stepped outside was found myself eating fresh figs from the tree just outside the hut and talking to Zane. (He asked me if I knew anything about freeganism and or squatting.)
From there I wondered to the lake and found a harmonica man sitting. Talked to him for a few minutes then moved on.
I did a lap around (most of) the lake looking for a spot to build a type of walk out board and or dock. Most times I pocked a stick down nasty smelling bubbles would come up. I decided to find the creek instead :)
Through my off the path woods exploration I heard an operah singer on the path near where I was. It was my buddy Vince. I could tell by his voice. We walked and talked for a bit (having not seen each other in 2 full days, which in this world and living so close can feel like a long time.) He was collecting leaves which are now hanging from the ceiling of his and Marek's room (it looks incredible. So peaceful and natural.)
Our path's diverged and I went back to find the area of creek I found when I left Jen Agor's house during orientation training and needed some think time. I found it!
It is such a beautiful spot - I forsee it becoming a home of mine. A place to swim, a live bamboo structure, and in a place where I feel far away but I am really not that far away - I think yes?! (Made me think of James.)
I dunked my body in the river and as my clothes dried I crawled around a patch of bamboo, got eaten by mosquitoes, and planned/dreamed up a home. I felt powerful, wild, and beautiful. It was incredible. Life is what you make it - and I am making mine good!
I sat outside with my back against Frank Science Center (with a roof over my head) for a few hours doing computer stuff and having a short phone conversation with Kelsey. Felt SO good to be outside AND doing computer stuff for college life.
I headed over to The Pines in my welly boots and knee length blue rain jacket allowing my hair to get wet (for the 4th... time today I believe.)
(~~I would quickly like to share my appreciation for auto draft saving! I just accidentally x-ed out of all my internet windows and thought I had lost all of this writing. Thanks world!)
I ate dinner there with the crew (except Ines because she was sleeping) and visiting with Marek and Vince until they went to bed around midnight and kicked me out. :)
Tomorrow I am definitely anticipating being filled with more of a schedule than has been the case for the past 3 days as well as the need to plan out my day (I already have a list of places to be where by the side of my bed so I don't forget). It starts with a breakfast potluck on the patio of founders at 8 AM. I keep filling my life with things I like.
Today was a GOOOD day.
Also Gabe and I had a quick exchange about the tarp of his I burnt holes in last semester by accident. I gave him options a) I could take him out to dinner like I offered when I gave him back the broken tarp but realized I had left my wallet in my room or b) claim the tarp I brought to school and I would get another one if he already replaced his old one. He said that he doesn't have a tarp but would rather go out to dinner. That feels better to me too - I want to give him something that really means something and something that is really me giving and I strongly believe the best and most lovng thing you can give someone is your time: that I am happy to do for a friend who I feel lucky to have in my life.
I wish I wasn't tired and I wish my alarm weren't set to go off in 7 hours, (if it weren't I would eat dark chocolate reeses, play guitar (somewhere not in my room to not wake up Katie), type up the new email list for the Food Justice Club (25+ people left there email, lets see how many show their faces at the meetings), clean up a bit, and make cookies in the Shore kitchen. Part of me is ready to do stuff and or excited to continue living a good day - but the louder part of me is starting to fall asleep so into bed for me. I really like my bed :)
So many good things in my life~
Even though it is Sunday (the day before Monday) I did not plan and did what came up and what I wanted to do - it worked out beautifully. (Almost too good to be true or like I am missing something super big, but until I find out what life is good/amazing/fulfilling/and full of joy.)
I stayed in my room doing laptop stuff for the first few hours I was awake.
The first thing I did when I stepped outside was found myself eating fresh figs from the tree just outside the hut and talking to Zane. (He asked me if I knew anything about freeganism and or squatting.)
From there I wondered to the lake and found a harmonica man sitting. Talked to him for a few minutes then moved on.
I did a lap around (most of) the lake looking for a spot to build a type of walk out board and or dock. Most times I pocked a stick down nasty smelling bubbles would come up. I decided to find the creek instead :)
Through my off the path woods exploration I heard an operah singer on the path near where I was. It was my buddy Vince. I could tell by his voice. We walked and talked for a bit (having not seen each other in 2 full days, which in this world and living so close can feel like a long time.) He was collecting leaves which are now hanging from the ceiling of his and Marek's room (it looks incredible. So peaceful and natural.)
Our path's diverged and I went back to find the area of creek I found when I left Jen Agor's house during orientation training and needed some think time. I found it!
It is such a beautiful spot - I forsee it becoming a home of mine. A place to swim, a live bamboo structure, and in a place where I feel far away but I am really not that far away - I think yes?! (Made me think of James.)
I dunked my body in the river and as my clothes dried I crawled around a patch of bamboo, got eaten by mosquitoes, and planned/dreamed up a home. I felt powerful, wild, and beautiful. It was incredible. Life is what you make it - and I am making mine good!
I sat outside with my back against Frank Science Center (with a roof over my head) for a few hours doing computer stuff and having a short phone conversation with Kelsey. Felt SO good to be outside AND doing computer stuff for college life.
I headed over to The Pines in my welly boots and knee length blue rain jacket allowing my hair to get wet (for the 4th... time today I believe.)
(~~I would quickly like to share my appreciation for auto draft saving! I just accidentally x-ed out of all my internet windows and thought I had lost all of this writing. Thanks world!)
I ate dinner there with the crew (except Ines because she was sleeping) and visiting with Marek and Vince until they went to bed around midnight and kicked me out. :)
Tomorrow I am definitely anticipating being filled with more of a schedule than has been the case for the past 3 days as well as the need to plan out my day (I already have a list of places to be where by the side of my bed so I don't forget). It starts with a breakfast potluck on the patio of founders at 8 AM. I keep filling my life with things I like.
Today was a GOOOD day.
Also Gabe and I had a quick exchange about the tarp of his I burnt holes in last semester by accident. I gave him options a) I could take him out to dinner like I offered when I gave him back the broken tarp but realized I had left my wallet in my room or b) claim the tarp I brought to school and I would get another one if he already replaced his old one. He said that he doesn't have a tarp but would rather go out to dinner. That feels better to me too - I want to give him something that really means something and something that is really me giving and I strongly believe the best and most lovng thing you can give someone is your time: that I am happy to do for a friend who I feel lucky to have in my life.
I wish I wasn't tired and I wish my alarm weren't set to go off in 7 hours, (if it weren't I would eat dark chocolate reeses, play guitar (somewhere not in my room to not wake up Katie), type up the new email list for the Food Justice Club (25+ people left there email, lets see how many show their faces at the meetings), clean up a bit, and make cookies in the Shore kitchen. Part of me is ready to do stuff and or excited to continue living a good day - but the louder part of me is starting to fall asleep so into bed for me. I really like my bed :)
So many good things in my life~
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