Checked out but good

I got hit by a realization that it is good to be aware of: I have basically checked out of Guilford life. I am going to classes and meetings and things here and there and getting stuff done - but mentally I have checked out. I remember this really effecting Lucy (older kitchen apprentice) at Embercombe, she checked out about 3 months before leaving because that was when she needed to start planning what was happening next. She was kind but she definitely had a wall up because of that. Being aware of this happening is good. Now to act on making my life what I want--- (and figuring that out, even if just momentarily.) Thinking about what I do rather than just doing what I do because that is what I do.
Do not get me wrong, I am feeling fine. Before heading to the farm I spoke to James (one of the people in England I have given part of my heart to), I got to thin carrots at the farm, I got to eat, the meeting I was not looking forward to wasn't actually that bad, market happened... Things are good. Excited for when they will be great!

Sister time and Food: Important

The day Kelsey and I met in Spartensburg for a picnic visit in the grass.

October 2013.

Peppers molted with color, gleamed that morning, lying Case Sensitive - a poem that fell out of my heart earlier that day.

 The after math from a visit to the back of Fresh Market.

Kelsey and I had a great chat with a pastor who was back there picking up food for a local food bank.

Man do I eat well~

Objects from My Past

This time last year this photo was important to me. A marker.

The objects I brought everywhere I went...

Reality Check

Well fancy that. Something must be working. Life feels ok right now... specifically I love that I am content to be where I am and feel ready to dive back into my research paper even though I just had a conversation with Jim (which could have taken me back to the Embercombe world) and heard about his current adventure and beauty filled life in California at an Embercombe life place... It felt real. The connection. Listening. Letting my mind go. Deciding to get back to my physical world. Sending love and saying good bye. Now it is time to continue reading about Richard Louv, his thoughts/experiences, and both the Children and Nature Network (Kiera's version of CNN - ha!) and the Leave No Child Inside movement.
Certainly not flawless (I feel sick from eating so much candy and I am tired from needing to wake up before 7 AM to finish a paper that was due at 8:30 AM because I chose to relax this weekend...) but life is a okay right now.

I am officially a paid baker now. Christopher Levkoff and I made a weekly deal fill his cookie jar. Getting paid for doing what I love.

Maybe things are starting ot feel right again, here, in this physical chapter of my life.