The closer it comes to August 4th (the date I am scheduled to leave Embercombe) I am feeling the need to document more and live more presently. An interesting balance. I am having fun with it - it feels right.
Last night was magic. Being in Centre Fire and feeling the calm energy of guitars, quiet company, and conversations as well as the excitment of throwing circular paper airplanes (all ages involved) and surprising B in the shower at midnight by singing happy birthday! A beautiful range, all incredible.
The Centre Fire gathering parted ways with love around midnight. From there Jana and I laughed over the adventure of wanting to watch a movie. (People were asleep in the Mezinine so we couldn't use that space, couldn't use my laptop needed to borrow one with the British code, needed to get the DVDs...) It was great and ended in Jana and I sitting on a mattress and pillow made couch in the woman's yurt talking and watching Chocolat until half 2.
The energy at Embercombe really sparks interest in me and willingness to learn - even stronger than at other points in my life. I wanted to learn how to french braid/plate so I asked Jana how and shortly after she was showing me. I have wanted to learn the butterfly swimming stroke for years one day in the lake I asked Juanjo effortlessly if he would show me how and quickly got over the potential embarrassment of flopping about in the water attempting the butterfly. I really like that that is so alive in me.
Joey is back which means learning a lot of amazing and random things, feeling the love every time we pass and or make eye contact, banjo talk and the possibility of playing, and Builders week (and whatever that may contain.)
Today is Sunday. Catalyst begins today and I am glad I decided not to do it. It seems like a neat program but not one I want to do and I am glad I have one more week at Embercombe as a volunteer rather than needing to be in the program and not interacting/living/working with the volunteers I have grown so close to. It is a very quiet weekend. There is one more school group coming then all of the programs are for adults which means there is a very different feel around Embercombe. Calm. Not that it wasn't nice with the kids but, it is nice now.
I am working this evening in the kitchen with Patti and Dan - both whom I adore and am looking forward to that as well as whatever I do between now and then.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Re-Arriving, Catching, And Loving
The tomato season has begun
Jonathon and Patti.
Patti "we don't need cars, we have wheel barrows!"
relections
my reflection in a pool of Embercombe made tomato feed (that smelt putrid)
The People's Circle on May's last night
Eamon, Patti, May, Rob, Jaro, Adam, Mick, and Simon's shoes
Mick, Ronan, Juanjo, and Simon.
Photo credit: Teo
Jana, Dan, Eamon, Patti, May, Teo with Juanjo's camera, and Janette's hair and shoulder.
She finally came out from behind the trees. :)
reflections.
Eamon, Mimi, and Naomi (pronounces Nairmy).
Mimi was helping Dan make black current jam
I feel so lucky to have lived with this fine young man for the time I have.
Teo!
Mimi, Teo, and I during a calm afternoon by the lake.
The view from sitting on the bench on the platform by the lake.
Patti, Me, Jana (pronounced Yana), and Jaro (pronounced Haro).
Photo credit: Mimi
Photo credit: Mimi
The lime kiln a school group made. Her name is Medussa.
Photo credit: Mimi
Photo credit: Mimi
Jana and I
Teo, Me, and Mimi
Teo really wanted to use my camera and was not in the mood to wait until Mimi was done.
The pizza ovens and Dolly's back.
Mimi explored the polytunnel with my camera!
Mimi explored the polytunnel with my camera!
Mimi explored the polytunnel with my camera!
Taken by Mimi. Jana: "especially for Kiera!"
Eamon and Ben
Clare and I
Saturdays lunch. The food here never seizes to amaze and fulfill me.
Broad bean and courgette soup, tomato and basil salad, cucumber and dill, a rabbit liver dish that starts with a p, potato salad, and beetroo salad with cardamom seeds. Yum!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Badgers and More
I just got back from badger watching with Patty.
We left probably around 8:15/8:30. I thought we were there for less than an hour but when I got back and checked the time it is 10:30. Wow~ After sitting for a while we moved up the hill in silence and wondered away from the fence toward the other badger home behind Naomi van. At one point when we were sitting down I saw a white line move up the pathway just outside the hole and then stop. I think that may have been a badger! It is hard looking at one thing for a long time. Kind of trippy. I was trying to focus and at times really struggling.
I caught myself saying to Teo earlier today, 'sometimes we need to wait a little extra time for the things we really want.' I certainly could take that to heart and analyze it.
Tonight as I was waiting for my pizza to be baked in the pizza ovens I stepped away from the table to dump the water out from the corn bowl and when I came back I accidentally put the corn bowl beyond the cheese bowl in the assembly line. That was just as Ronan was reaching for the cheese bowl; I said something about putting the corn on his pizza before the cheese. Ronan in his Ronan way asked why I think he should put the corn before the cheese and I genuinely responded 'because then the cheese will melt on the corn and I think you would enjoy that.' His response was both Ronany and complimentary "always speaking from the heart."
It is neat having the feeling that someone wants to be your friend. Eamon (exact age unknown but I would guess around 45-50) and I bonded over washing and drying dishes today. There was still a mini mountain of dishes at 5:00 (when we typically end 'work') but we decided to all stay back and work hard for 10-15 minutes and then leave the space clean and tidy for the next shift. Eamon is a good DJ. It would have been very different and a lot less fun without his lively song choices and the dancing and singing that ensued.
As I was walking to the dinning yurt to get a cup of tea before heading in to do some laptop stuff he asked me if I was heading down to the People's Circle soon. He was thinking of heading down in a bit. He is going to start the fire. I really enjoy when it is clear from both people that a friendship is wanted and or that we enjoy each other's company. (Even when the 2 individuals are so very different in many ways.) I am certainly feeling that from Jana (pronounced Yana) as well.
I felt today and I anticipate feeling for the rest of my time here the ups and downs of leaving a place soon. The ups stand out at me certainly more than the downs. (More on that later most likely - as my time at Embercombe for summer '13 comes to a wrap up).
Sitting still, without human noise besides breathing (and sounds from a distance which I have no control over) for over an hour was really nice. Whether I go badgering again or just sit still - I definitely want to do something like that again.
In circle this morning I shared about how part of me has already left Embercombe because of the energy I am putting into planning what is coming next. That feels ok. It feels real. Part of me wants to be at Guilford now, right now. But then again I know I am going to have a great last week or so here, then whatever I choose to do between Embercombe and flying out of London on the 15th, PA time, and the ride to Guilford. I like that I am so excited about life nearly every day.
My ankle and the side of my foot are throbbing slightly from where I swished past a nettle plant while walking barefoot in the woods on the way back from badgering. Walking though the forest of ferns (half as tall as me) made me remember swimming through the kelp forest in Baja California with Mike and Ori. Hm!
I have kind of almost filled my whole journal. I started it on the airplane here. I wonder if I will fill the last page on the airplane ride back. That certainly would be convenient in organizing the chapters of my life and the journals that go with them.
I just got hit by a wave of -- I want to have a Soul Migration movie night here at Embercome before I leave. It feels doable, fun, and good. I also really really want (and kind of need to for my paper) talk to Ronan about (his experience with) Schumaker.
My eyes are already growing a bit heavy and there are more computer things I wanted to do before heading down to the People's Circle where I do not anticipate going to sleep (in the willow structure with Teo?!) before spending at least an hour by the beautiful fireside with wonderful people first. But then again who knows - if I am feeling tired enough I will certainly go to sleep. I am getting really good at living where my feet take me and in many aspects acting without thinking and finding myself living a beautiful and joy filled life.
My work ethic changed today when I caught myself realizing few things really feel like work around here, it just feels like living. That was an exciting and important realization that I want to apply in many aspects of my life for many years.
We left probably around 8:15/8:30. I thought we were there for less than an hour but when I got back and checked the time it is 10:30. Wow~ After sitting for a while we moved up the hill in silence and wondered away from the fence toward the other badger home behind Naomi van. At one point when we were sitting down I saw a white line move up the pathway just outside the hole and then stop. I think that may have been a badger! It is hard looking at one thing for a long time. Kind of trippy. I was trying to focus and at times really struggling.
I caught myself saying to Teo earlier today, 'sometimes we need to wait a little extra time for the things we really want.' I certainly could take that to heart and analyze it.
Tonight as I was waiting for my pizza to be baked in the pizza ovens I stepped away from the table to dump the water out from the corn bowl and when I came back I accidentally put the corn bowl beyond the cheese bowl in the assembly line. That was just as Ronan was reaching for the cheese bowl; I said something about putting the corn on his pizza before the cheese. Ronan in his Ronan way asked why I think he should put the corn before the cheese and I genuinely responded 'because then the cheese will melt on the corn and I think you would enjoy that.' His response was both Ronany and complimentary "always speaking from the heart."
It is neat having the feeling that someone wants to be your friend. Eamon (exact age unknown but I would guess around 45-50) and I bonded over washing and drying dishes today. There was still a mini mountain of dishes at 5:00 (when we typically end 'work') but we decided to all stay back and work hard for 10-15 minutes and then leave the space clean and tidy for the next shift. Eamon is a good DJ. It would have been very different and a lot less fun without his lively song choices and the dancing and singing that ensued.
As I was walking to the dinning yurt to get a cup of tea before heading in to do some laptop stuff he asked me if I was heading down to the People's Circle soon. He was thinking of heading down in a bit. He is going to start the fire. I really enjoy when it is clear from both people that a friendship is wanted and or that we enjoy each other's company. (Even when the 2 individuals are so very different in many ways.) I am certainly feeling that from Jana (pronounced Yana) as well.
I felt today and I anticipate feeling for the rest of my time here the ups and downs of leaving a place soon. The ups stand out at me certainly more than the downs. (More on that later most likely - as my time at Embercombe for summer '13 comes to a wrap up).
Sitting still, without human noise besides breathing (and sounds from a distance which I have no control over) for over an hour was really nice. Whether I go badgering again or just sit still - I definitely want to do something like that again.
In circle this morning I shared about how part of me has already left Embercombe because of the energy I am putting into planning what is coming next. That feels ok. It feels real. Part of me wants to be at Guilford now, right now. But then again I know I am going to have a great last week or so here, then whatever I choose to do between Embercombe and flying out of London on the 15th, PA time, and the ride to Guilford. I like that I am so excited about life nearly every day.
My ankle and the side of my foot are throbbing slightly from where I swished past a nettle plant while walking barefoot in the woods on the way back from badgering. Walking though the forest of ferns (half as tall as me) made me remember swimming through the kelp forest in Baja California with Mike and Ori. Hm!
I have kind of almost filled my whole journal. I started it on the airplane here. I wonder if I will fill the last page on the airplane ride back. That certainly would be convenient in organizing the chapters of my life and the journals that go with them.
I just got hit by a wave of -- I want to have a Soul Migration movie night here at Embercome before I leave. It feels doable, fun, and good. I also really really want (and kind of need to for my paper) talk to Ronan about (his experience with) Schumaker.
My eyes are already growing a bit heavy and there are more computer things I wanted to do before heading down to the People's Circle where I do not anticipate going to sleep (in the willow structure with Teo?!) before spending at least an hour by the beautiful fireside with wonderful people first. But then again who knows - if I am feeling tired enough I will certainly go to sleep. I am getting really good at living where my feet take me and in many aspects acting without thinking and finding myself living a beautiful and joy filled life.
My work ethic changed today when I caught myself realizing few things really feel like work around here, it just feels like living. That was an exciting and important realization that I want to apply in many aspects of my life for many years.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Feelings Dancing Through my Pirate Belt
Feeling like I need to check out for a few hours, really not sure how to do that though...
Yesterday I realized the life I have been dreaming about living and working towards is the one I am living now, and the missing fingers are at my fingertips - yet I am not reaching for them. Having that realization yesterday in the kitchen made me realize that my path may change. What did my path look like? Not sure? What does it look like now? Not a clue. While that is scary, it is also exciting. Ayo~
I feel fragile, that feels like an appropriate way of describing it. This morning when I was leaning against the veg washing sink in the back of the kitchen scrubbing carrots I could not get the library in the woods out of my head. I wonder what that means. Maybe my future will have a lot of it :) It was strange, even though my eyes were open and there were other things going on in the kitchen I was very much so at the Library in the Woods in Greensboro North Carolina. I am looking forward to returning to North Carolina and what that brings.
I feel a bit like a pirate today. Scarves make great belts. I am wearing my light weight (and holey) green shorts, my special purple scarf around my hips, my trago top, and my polka dotted swimming top. Such a wonderful outfit on many levels.
I slept in the rain last night, and the night before that actually. While it was incredible and I am glad I did I may sleep in my tent tonight -- for the undisturbed space. Going to grab a quick snack from the kitchen (not sure if I need it physically but it will do me good mentally) then head down to the poly tunnel to do some watering and tomato feeding - hopefully the water tank has had a chance to refill.
Yesterday I realized the life I have been dreaming about living and working towards is the one I am living now, and the missing fingers are at my fingertips - yet I am not reaching for them. Having that realization yesterday in the kitchen made me realize that my path may change. What did my path look like? Not sure? What does it look like now? Not a clue. While that is scary, it is also exciting. Ayo~
I feel fragile, that feels like an appropriate way of describing it. This morning when I was leaning against the veg washing sink in the back of the kitchen scrubbing carrots I could not get the library in the woods out of my head. I wonder what that means. Maybe my future will have a lot of it :) It was strange, even though my eyes were open and there were other things going on in the kitchen I was very much so at the Library in the Woods in Greensboro North Carolina. I am looking forward to returning to North Carolina and what that brings.
I feel a bit like a pirate today. Scarves make great belts. I am wearing my light weight (and holey) green shorts, my special purple scarf around my hips, my trago top, and my polka dotted swimming top. Such a wonderful outfit on many levels.
I slept in the rain last night, and the night before that actually. While it was incredible and I am glad I did I may sleep in my tent tonight -- for the undisturbed space. Going to grab a quick snack from the kitchen (not sure if I need it physically but it will do me good mentally) then head down to the poly tunnel to do some watering and tomato feeding - hopefully the water tank has had a chance to refill.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Bullet Points for Today
The Spirals of My World -- and today.
--ending the day sitting in Centre Fire with magical and gentle lighting with a storm brewing outside.
--Just had mead for the first time. The oldest alcoholic drink. It is made from honey. I love things like that am very ok with having them in my life. Simon (who seems relaxed, joyful, and playful - something he has not been for about 2 weeks because of his ear infection and burnt hand...) was telling me about how some people can tell what season a batch of mead was brewed because of the flavoring the flowers the bees pollinated the flower to make the honey... beyond amazing and something that should be much more common than the psht of an opening can of some mystery alcohol containing drink.
--I quote from morning circle: "because of the cup of very strong coffee I just enjoyed I am thinking about my contribution to the compost loo after this meeting is over..." I love many of the things that are said in check in
--Diving into the water (with one hand on my knickers so as to not have them at my ankles the instant I hit the water, I felt something but it was more the impact of something against my body than the temperature change. A 5 minute swim in the lake was incredible during afternoon tea break from planting leeks. I Wasn't super super hot but I felt I could do with a swim. I floated on my stomach and felt my body arching to follow the curve of the earth, I did over 10 seconds of the butterfly (practicing until Juanjo can give me further constructive critisism and specifics about what to perfect), doggy paddles my way in a complete circle looking at my surroundings and really trying to remind myself how incredibly amazing and special it is.
--Really enjoyed table talk over supper and pudding. Ronan, Patti (who is back!), Asha (who was half snuggling with me from her spot on the table), Jana (pronounced Yana), Clare, May, Josh, and Janette were playing general knowledge test which entailed asking each other random questions. What does CCD stand for in the insect world is the one I asked. What famous movie is the quote 'don't put baby in the corner' from? Is the one May asked. Ronan asked a few. We also talked about fracking. It as jolly good. We laughed, talked, shared knowledge, picked on one anotherand had a right nice time. Felt very family like. Also Janette and I had a good conversation about ggender. Neither of us wanted to go too deeply into it just than but we did talk about differences and similarities in being physically comfortable or not around women versus feeling mentally comfortable about men or women.
--During lunch today when Mimi and Asha were not so patiently waiting for me to finish to show me I caught myself saying :I am needing a little more personal space than you are giving me right now." Talk about gentle wording :P It was just as they discovered my chin hair and were wanting to touch it and pull at it (like some other people in my life).
--As I am writing this Patti walks up to the big class doors of Centre Fire and puts her face against the glass to see through (most likely seeing if she should turn the light off. When she saw me, I waved with a sincere smile, she made a face like a 6 year old pushing their face against a window, smiled whole heartedly, and then turned and left.
--It is present that so many ends are near. Tonight I feel as thought that really brought us together - knowing the end is near. "Every goodbye is forever, every hello is a new beginning," is a quote I proudly thought of while staying up late studying with D'vorah in Founders till 4 AM+ I feel as thought that quote is SO so applicable to life. Not always easy to apply though.
--I did house keeping for the first time today. It is funny how the fact that someone asking me what they should do (who was also on the housekeeping team) made me step up and use common sense to figure what had to get done. Tom would be proud... and would roll his eyes at that.
--Group gardening this morning was beautiful. It is spectacular what can happen when you get 12-15 Embercombe folk working together in the dame area of the garden - conversations, connections, weeding, cooperation, laughter, amazement, -- so good.
--Got my hair wet for the first time in 3 days and for the first time since I went in the ocean twice on Sunday (once with Craig in Paignton and once in Teignmouth with Clare and Jana leaning over the railing morally supporting me and crossing their fingers I didn't get run over by a surfer.
As always much more could be said but I am going to end it there. Shortly after I post this I am going to grab my pile of stuff, walk down to The People's Circle passing the smell and feel of the compost heaps, the chickens and the clicking electric (solar opporated) fence), and most likely run down the middle hill to get to the Circle. Definitely sleeping out tonight - most likely on the middle deck if the plateform/tree fort in the woods off the trail by the People's Circle.
Feeling happy content, full of life, like I have worked hard today, loving my trago top, excited for my future, and ready to sleep.
--ending the day sitting in Centre Fire with magical and gentle lighting with a storm brewing outside.
--Just had mead for the first time. The oldest alcoholic drink. It is made from honey. I love things like that am very ok with having them in my life. Simon (who seems relaxed, joyful, and playful - something he has not been for about 2 weeks because of his ear infection and burnt hand...) was telling me about how some people can tell what season a batch of mead was brewed because of the flavoring the flowers the bees pollinated the flower to make the honey... beyond amazing and something that should be much more common than the psht of an opening can of some mystery alcohol containing drink.
--I quote from morning circle: "because of the cup of very strong coffee I just enjoyed I am thinking about my contribution to the compost loo after this meeting is over..." I love many of the things that are said in check in
--Diving into the water (with one hand on my knickers so as to not have them at my ankles the instant I hit the water, I felt something but it was more the impact of something against my body than the temperature change. A 5 minute swim in the lake was incredible during afternoon tea break from planting leeks. I Wasn't super super hot but I felt I could do with a swim. I floated on my stomach and felt my body arching to follow the curve of the earth, I did over 10 seconds of the butterfly (practicing until Juanjo can give me further constructive critisism and specifics about what to perfect), doggy paddles my way in a complete circle looking at my surroundings and really trying to remind myself how incredibly amazing and special it is.
--Really enjoyed table talk over supper and pudding. Ronan, Patti (who is back!), Asha (who was half snuggling with me from her spot on the table), Jana (pronounced Yana), Clare, May, Josh, and Janette were playing general knowledge test which entailed asking each other random questions. What does CCD stand for in the insect world is the one I asked. What famous movie is the quote 'don't put baby in the corner' from? Is the one May asked. Ronan asked a few. We also talked about fracking. It as jolly good. We laughed, talked, shared knowledge, picked on one anotherand had a right nice time. Felt very family like. Also Janette and I had a good conversation about ggender. Neither of us wanted to go too deeply into it just than but we did talk about differences and similarities in being physically comfortable or not around women versus feeling mentally comfortable about men or women.
--During lunch today when Mimi and Asha were not so patiently waiting for me to finish to show me I caught myself saying :I am needing a little more personal space than you are giving me right now." Talk about gentle wording :P It was just as they discovered my chin hair and were wanting to touch it and pull at it (like some other people in my life).
--As I am writing this Patti walks up to the big class doors of Centre Fire and puts her face against the glass to see through (most likely seeing if she should turn the light off. When she saw me, I waved with a sincere smile, she made a face like a 6 year old pushing their face against a window, smiled whole heartedly, and then turned and left.
--It is present that so many ends are near. Tonight I feel as thought that really brought us together - knowing the end is near. "Every goodbye is forever, every hello is a new beginning," is a quote I proudly thought of while staying up late studying with D'vorah in Founders till 4 AM+ I feel as thought that quote is SO so applicable to life. Not always easy to apply though.
--I did house keeping for the first time today. It is funny how the fact that someone asking me what they should do (who was also on the housekeeping team) made me step up and use common sense to figure what had to get done. Tom would be proud... and would roll his eyes at that.
--Group gardening this morning was beautiful. It is spectacular what can happen when you get 12-15 Embercombe folk working together in the dame area of the garden - conversations, connections, weeding, cooperation, laughter, amazement, -- so good.
--Got my hair wet for the first time in 3 days and for the first time since I went in the ocean twice on Sunday (once with Craig in Paignton and once in Teignmouth with Clare and Jana leaning over the railing morally supporting me and crossing their fingers I didn't get run over by a surfer.
As always much more could be said but I am going to end it there. Shortly after I post this I am going to grab my pile of stuff, walk down to The People's Circle passing the smell and feel of the compost heaps, the chickens and the clicking electric (solar opporated) fence), and most likely run down the middle hill to get to the Circle. Definitely sleeping out tonight - most likely on the middle deck if the plateform/tree fort in the woods off the trail by the People's Circle.
Feeling happy content, full of life, like I have worked hard today, loving my trago top, excited for my future, and ready to sleep.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Magical Energy and Music
What is alive for me right now is the fact I just completed another day of 'work.' From 9-5 I was on kitchen duty. It is amazing my body sustained - I am surprised it did today. I did not sleep much last night and the little I was lying down I was not sleeping solidly. I stayed up late supporting a friend whoreally needed love and attention and ended up sleeping in the willow structure with a thin blue blanket (from trago) and a using a pair of red corduroy pants for a pillow. Because it got chili through out the nigh I slept curled up which meant I awoke feeling like a hunchback. Oddly enough I was happy to smell a recent history of burning tobacco around my tent because that meant the person who needed my bed and tent (more than me last night) slept in it - which meant they slept, which was a very good thing. What I really wanted to express is how appreciative I am of my body and what it can do. A lot of today was on my own which I thoroughly enjoyed. I did a mix of harvesting kale and swiss chard (while Laia filmed for her project), breakfast clean up, holding the responsibility of making pudding (what the brits call dessert) for 60+ people, making 3 salads for lunch/dinner (using tomatoes, cucumbers, and courgettes from the garden), working my way through the mountain of dishes that remained from the mid day meal and which also kept growing as evening meal prep continued, mixing homemade baked beans, and so much more. Yay body. Sure I am pretty tired now, but it wasn't till half 3 or 4 I really started to feel tired. Bodies are incredible and can do so much!
As I was writing the paragraph above I heard Let Her Go by Passenger being played on the piano in Centre Fire. I jumped up and stood in the doorway of Centre Fire (unable to hold in my smile) and listened (while other instruments were being played, badminton was being played, and many conversations were happening). When the pianist came to an end I walked over and asked her to show me how. Now, (as long as I remember it) next time I am in a room with a piano (and there aren't too many people around for pure feeling purpose) I am going to try and combine the left hand part she taught me with the right hand melody I figured out a few weeks ago. I am looking forward to when that happens. Coincidentally earlier today I was thinking about sitting down at the piano and trying to remember how to play the song Breakeven (by Script) Vince taught me at the very beginning of fall semester. Music, whether being made, going through my head, or coming back from my past - was part of today.
During morning tea break today as I sat down to write a note to someone, a song I strongly associate with that person came on. Once that song ended a song which had been stuck in my head all morning having no idea what got it in my head, that came on. Today was a music day. Maybe tonight I will play the violin, guitar, piano, bango, drums, and or do some singing. Who knows!
The sense of me leaving soon is definitely in the air and present in my mind - but even stronger than that (though not over powering which I am very appreciative of) is the fact that in less than a week Jenny, Mick, Teo, Mimi, Patty, Juanjo, May, Clare, leave - and Cara leaves a few days later. Things certainly are a changing - as usual in this transient community.
Going to do some computer things (look up books needed for fall semester, check emails, look up homemade fly spray for the horses, and get distracted for a little bit) before dinner and then possibly take a nap by the lake.
As I was writing the paragraph above I heard Let Her Go by Passenger being played on the piano in Centre Fire. I jumped up and stood in the doorway of Centre Fire (unable to hold in my smile) and listened (while other instruments were being played, badminton was being played, and many conversations were happening). When the pianist came to an end I walked over and asked her to show me how. Now, (as long as I remember it) next time I am in a room with a piano (and there aren't too many people around for pure feeling purpose) I am going to try and combine the left hand part she taught me with the right hand melody I figured out a few weeks ago. I am looking forward to when that happens. Coincidentally earlier today I was thinking about sitting down at the piano and trying to remember how to play the song Breakeven (by Script) Vince taught me at the very beginning of fall semester. Music, whether being made, going through my head, or coming back from my past - was part of today.
During morning tea break today as I sat down to write a note to someone, a song I strongly associate with that person came on. Once that song ended a song which had been stuck in my head all morning having no idea what got it in my head, that came on. Today was a music day. Maybe tonight I will play the violin, guitar, piano, bango, drums, and or do some singing. Who knows!
The sense of me leaving soon is definitely in the air and present in my mind - but even stronger than that (though not over powering which I am very appreciative of) is the fact that in less than a week Jenny, Mick, Teo, Mimi, Patty, Juanjo, May, Clare, leave - and Cara leaves a few days later. Things certainly are a changing - as usual in this transient community.
Going to do some computer things (look up books needed for fall semester, check emails, look up homemade fly spray for the horses, and get distracted for a little bit) before dinner and then possibly take a nap by the lake.
-Life is good-
Saturday, July 20, 2013
It is a Definite Possibility That I Have Died and Gone to Devon
The other day someone who gave me a lift, said something that really made me smile: "you have died and gone to Devon..."
It is amazing the things I forget to look out for and think about until my living situation changes. Today I was reminded of how differently life is if walking up and down hills are hard - especially around Paignton. Eye opening. Ever learning about the world from the world.
Situations. Life: it is about situations and experiences. Such an impact. The scars, the laughter, memories - they are what shape us. I have been thinking about this and that a lot lately. A full life is a good life - that is probably why I prefer to stay busy, for that is where I find happiness.
As I was standing at the sink cleaning dishes from dinner/supper I realized I would be happy to go for a swim in the ocean. Less than 5 minutes after I realized I want to go for a swim the phone was ringing and I was calling Uncle Craig. It had potential to be very nice - had he answered. I left a message and will probably try again tomorrow.
Thinking about people I am not with but not in a sad way. Looking forward to what is next.
Watching Foyle's War and Inspector Lewis -- feels kind of like it should be a Sunday night at Patrick Avenue even though I am on the floor at Grandmom Franklin's flat in Paignton England.
My life is beyond incredible. Has ups and downs, but that is what makes it real.
It is amazing the things I forget to look out for and think about until my living situation changes. Today I was reminded of how differently life is if walking up and down hills are hard - especially around Paignton. Eye opening. Ever learning about the world from the world.
Situations. Life: it is about situations and experiences. Such an impact. The scars, the laughter, memories - they are what shape us. I have been thinking about this and that a lot lately. A full life is a good life - that is probably why I prefer to stay busy, for that is where I find happiness.
As I was standing at the sink cleaning dishes from dinner/supper I realized I would be happy to go for a swim in the ocean. Less than 5 minutes after I realized I want to go for a swim the phone was ringing and I was calling Uncle Craig. It had potential to be very nice - had he answered. I left a message and will probably try again tomorrow.
Thinking about people I am not with but not in a sad way. Looking forward to what is next.
Watching Foyle's War and Inspector Lewis -- feels kind of like it should be a Sunday night at Patrick Avenue even though I am on the floor at Grandmom Franklin's flat in Paignton England.
My life is beyond incredible. Has ups and downs, but that is what makes it real.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Then and Now
Ever since I decided I will be leaving on the original date some part of me turned off. It is like, since I know I am going back, I just want to be back (at Guilford), and I don't want to go through the count down. I was unable to pin point this, though knew something felt strange, until May the other day nicely said I had seemed distant for the past few days. Even though I have been working with the education team and that is a very separate world from the rest of Embercombe - that was not what she meant. We acknowledged the truth, I thanked her for bringing it up - which helped me be able to identify what was going on, and then she kept making jam (squishing berries through a sieve which some poor soul would need to clear later that day) and I returned to the task of picking up the snack from the kitchen to take to the woodwork area for the Imayla group of teenage Mum's and their young ones.
Stone soup for 120 happened. We all worked hard, drank lots of water, created as much shade for ourselves and the kids as we could, and after waving good bye as their coach drove away, knowing that we were to jump in the lake soon, we cleaned up the yurts for friends weekend and headed to the dinning yurt for some black current and mint (homemade) sorbet.
I was going to say I certainly will miss this place but I know that is not true. While I have enjoyed my time here (SO much so), learned a ton, and have changed to be more of the person I am - the part of me who adjusts quickly to places/things/people anticipate adjusting almost too quickly to the (updated) Guilford college ways. Having said that I do anticipate feeling the absence of Mimi and Teo, the fresh air, an abundance of stars every night, a lake to swim in daily (I have been in at least once every day for the past 2+ weeks), being tired at night, and the quality food. I am curious how the transition will go once I leave Guilford. I am excited for what comes next - both in this moment heading to the kitchen (and all the potentials there) and in the further future of returning to America and what that will bring!
Stone soup for 120 happened. We all worked hard, drank lots of water, created as much shade for ourselves and the kids as we could, and after waving good bye as their coach drove away, knowing that we were to jump in the lake soon, we cleaned up the yurts for friends weekend and headed to the dinning yurt for some black current and mint (homemade) sorbet.
I was going to say I certainly will miss this place but I know that is not true. While I have enjoyed my time here (SO much so), learned a ton, and have changed to be more of the person I am - the part of me who adjusts quickly to places/things/people anticipate adjusting almost too quickly to the (updated) Guilford college ways. Having said that I do anticipate feeling the absence of Mimi and Teo, the fresh air, an abundance of stars every night, a lake to swim in daily (I have been in at least once every day for the past 2+ weeks), being tired at night, and the quality food. I am curious how the transition will go once I leave Guilford. I am excited for what comes next - both in this moment heading to the kitchen (and all the potentials there) and in the further future of returning to America and what that will bring!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Dream vs Dream
Many time in the past 2 weeks I wished I could live 2 lives. One pursuing my dream of living the life of a gypsy (in the sense that I am constantly traveling, do not have many belongings, my nights are filled with fires and musicetc.) and the other returning to Guilford and living that life. Yesterday I realized but this morning I really realized (when I said it out loud at morning check in) that returning to Guilford, full of people I know, being academically challenged is a dream of mine. Right now in my life I am going to pursue that dream.
It is rare that I return to a place... probably because while I love change, I am beyond afraid of what it might look like.
Now looking back on just 2 days ago, the lists I was making of why I felt I should pursue one dream more than the other seem so shallow. Having said that, they were such an important part of my learning.
I am not writing this to explain the conclusion of the journey my mind has been going on the for past 2 weeks, but to try and catch it briefly so that I can recall later - because on many levels it was huge making the choice to stay or to return to Guilford in one month and the thoughts behind that. Something, even though it wasn't easy, I don't want the wind to blow away.
I do not need to explain myself to anyone: as long as I know. A hard lesson to learn. I am trying to guide myself through a scenario where I learn (through experiencing) whether I stress about what others think or not 'it doesn't really make a difference.' Just one of the many adventures and learning opportunities dancing around my face right now.
I wish I weren't but builders week(July 28-4) is on my mind, specifically what and who it will and may bring (back?!). After that, with a blink, (a few days later) I will be walking down the Embercombe driveway with my bags packed and my hands full.
It is rare that I return to a place... probably because while I love change, I am beyond afraid of what it might look like.
Now looking back on just 2 days ago, the lists I was making of why I felt I should pursue one dream more than the other seem so shallow. Having said that, they were such an important part of my learning.
I am not writing this to explain the conclusion of the journey my mind has been going on the for past 2 weeks, but to try and catch it briefly so that I can recall later - because on many levels it was huge making the choice to stay or to return to Guilford in one month and the thoughts behind that. Something, even though it wasn't easy, I don't want the wind to blow away.
I do not need to explain myself to anyone: as long as I know. A hard lesson to learn. I am trying to guide myself through a scenario where I learn (through experiencing) whether I stress about what others think or not 'it doesn't really make a difference.' Just one of the many adventures and learning opportunities dancing around my face right now.
I wish I weren't but builders week(July 28-4) is on my mind, specifically what and who it will and may bring (back?!). After that, with a blink, (a few days later) I will be walking down the Embercombe driveway with my bags packed and my hands full.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
A Hot, Thoughtful Saturday
Sitting on the floor in Centre Fire. It is very hot. Next to me is an empty bowl. Saurkraut was giving me comfort. I am thinking, making important lists on the computer, dreaming, and very unsure.
Came back from Schumaker early than anticipated. It wasn't because I wasn't having a good time (calm conversation and woods exploration) but the idea of having an hitchhiking adventure with Annabie and returning to Emercombe in time to have a few hours of down time before heading to a barn dance with the Embercombe family was really irresistible: so that is what I decided to do.
I wouldn't describe what I am doing as relaxing exactly, but it feels right. I am thinking, planning, and dreaming. Imagining options and potentials decisions may lead to.
I am appreciative of my stainless steel water bottle.
Currently listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=NxNPvZ30l9k through head phones I found in the yellow room when I was figuring out how to play Hills of Anthenry on the violin.
My life has been full of moments where I need to pinch myself to double check I am not dreaming and is currently very thoughtful.
Came back from Schumaker early than anticipated. It wasn't because I wasn't having a good time (calm conversation and woods exploration) but the idea of having an hitchhiking adventure with Annabie and returning to Emercombe in time to have a few hours of down time before heading to a barn dance with the Embercombe family was really irresistible: so that is what I decided to do.
I wouldn't describe what I am doing as relaxing exactly, but it feels right. I am thinking, planning, and dreaming. Imagining options and potentials decisions may lead to.
I am appreciative of my stainless steel water bottle.
Currently listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=NxNPvZ30l9k through head phones I found in the yellow room when I was figuring out how to play Hills of Anthenry on the violin.
My life has been full of moments where I need to pinch myself to double check I am not dreaming and is currently very thoughtful.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Dreams, Happiness, and Unknowns of the Future
The wheels in my head are turning. I am in the need of something adventurous and full of unknowns. I am forever being reminded if I talk about what I am interested in and or want, it really comes my way and that talking out loud about my dreams is a healthy way to process. What I am doing now is living the life I have been dreaming about for a few years. What is next?!
I am proud of how much I have been following my gut lately and how filled with joy I have been and want that to continue.
I am proud of how much I have been following my gut lately and how filled with joy I have been and want that to continue.
Monday, July 8, 2013
The Last 3 Days
The last 3 days have been packed with great things. Back to back. Experience after experience. Definitely not a relaxing weekend but certainly refreshing.
Friday night we celebrated Lucy Lee's bithday. Lucy and Elouise both came back to Embercombe!
Cara hula hooping Fire.
Sitting,
watching in amazement,
I am reminded
that simplicity,
good people,
and Nature
shape my world.
A little taste of what was going on.
Some were playing ninja (England style), some were around the fire, some were in the kitchen, music began, the sun set, many people were wearing obscure/non typical outfits... brilliant!
A little bit of belly dancing. All respectful but some definitely better than others.
Jenny (dressed as Mick for the night), Jim (in my skirt and a top found in trago), Patty in her belly dancing gear, and Mimi in her Cinderella dress with a belly dancing top over it.
- Mimi doing fire hula hoop -
Jaro juggling fire
Kiera is on the left and Jim is on the right. ;)
Dress up, musical clothes, cross dressing, whatever name you put to it
it is fun.
Sleep fast, then...
Saturday's Seed Festival in Stroud.
Listening to Polly Higgins speak about eradicating ecocide.
I appreciated that she opened up with saying 'I am not going to say things
you can read on the web site..."
Jaro and Cara dancing ~
A little closer up this time :D
Dancing to the band Seize the Day at the end of the festival was incredible. Felt SO good.
Felt like a right hippy -- the best kind.
So full of joy, love, and movement.
Sunday's Dartmoor visit with Elouise and Patti.
Patty is on the left and Elouise is on the right.
Differing styles, both loving it.
Our first river stop.
Beyond beautiful.
Elouise glowing by the water.
Different perspectives.
SSSI -- definitely something I am going to look into further.
Looks beautiful to me. The thought 'untidy' didn't cross my mind until I saw the apology sign below...
Oh Brit's and their manors.
Is it the footpath you wanted ;)
I felt incredibally lucky to have spent the day exploring Dartmoor with these 2 amazing women.
We almost accidentally found our way back to the car and (even though we felt unsustainable) decided to drive back to Embercombe in a way where we would get to see and wonder in some tors.
On the top of the tor we can see from Embercombe
My friend Patty. So very glad our paths crossed.
Cricky!
Steps in the rocks.
When I was around Dartmoor I remember thinking on many many occasions: this (view, experience, plant, combination in Nature) is not just beyond beautiful, lush, extraordinary, special, magnificent, absolutely incredible, it is a cloth of all of them woven together with so much more to it than those words can say.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)