What I am feeling, what I am, and some words on that.
I miss being able to be myself without perceiving negative assumptions such as:
dirty farmer
just a hippy
environmentalist
gypsy
poor
responsible and mature
when really I think of myself as
a dirty farmer who brings soil from one farm to another, learning, and growing
a hippy in regards to walking barefoot, being (mostly) vegan, living 'alternatively'
an environmentalist - yes I care about the environment, please don't not listen because I love so hard
gypsy - yes I have traveled and moved a lot. I am not always running, not flaky, -- not that.
My view on money is that I only need as much as I need, being resourceful and not buying everything brand new doesn't mean I am poor. I consider myself quite rich actually! Lucky and creative.
Responsible and mature have been weighing me down - self given? I appreciate being thought of as responsible, dedicated, and mature but at the same time I feel like I need to let myself play :(
Looking at pictures will not bring the past forward. Some days it motivates, inspires, and fills me with joy. Other moments (like right now) it weighs me down and make me see things I do not have...
Time to sink onto Canada Geese research, a book, and writing a moodle task for Jim.
I am going to be awake, having eaten, and leaving shore on the way to the farm at 9 AM tomorrow. If I say it does that mean it will come true?
Feeling a bit down at the moment and accepting the fact that it is valuable and not something to push away and ignore. Heavy heart though...
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