My Current Head Dance

Thoughts in my head:
It is hard not having anything to do while having so much to do. My first weekend here I have definitely felt more lost than I have in a while. For the past 2 days when I don't know what to do I either (choose the social thing and) go to the dinning yurt for a cup of tea and a potential conversation or (the I am feeling alone and not knowing what to do about it is) resort to my computer.
I am not sure if anything is truly sustainable...
The only constant thing is change (people, relationships, Nature, food, my well being, etc).
Sleeping on the mound last night was really good - I want to sleep outside more often.
Waking up to the sound of children playing, birds singing, and the wind blowing the grass is one of the best ways to wake up; so peaceful and beautiful.
The quietness of the weekend is making me a bit uneasy yet it is good to think how excited I am to get back to 'work' tomorrow morning. If I am looking forward to working more than relaxing (in the beautiful outdoors with so much to explore, so many good people, swings/gardens/an open kitchen) I am sure there is something about to be uprooted I am trying to not let in/out. I am not sure what it is but I can feel it coming. If it includes tears that will be good. My sun kissed and dirt coated cheeks would feel refreshed and my eyes cleared.
There is so much going on not in this bubble where I am that I want to be aware of (mostly the lives of loved ones) and yet I want to be preset here. (More on that later)
It isn't about the destination, it is about the journey. Being at Embercombe is a journey towards a currently unknown destination.
I wish I could play my heart out on the piano. I may try and do that after the sun sets tonight.
What I am not going to do is shape these words for any audience besides myself. I am creating this blog to tell my story so I remember - and to share along the way.
The way my thoughts weave together and dance around is very different when I am not in front of the computer. I may start journaling then typing what I journal so it can capture the true words and thoughts.